![]() ![]() Find great designs on our high quality greeting cards. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months warm, happy, and floating…you finish off as an orgasm. Shop Deep Thoughts Jack Handey Greeting Cards from CafePress. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. But then, he kept going, and I started thinking, Uh-oh, this story is. If I ever get real rich, I hope Im not real mean to poor people, like I am now. Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger. You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. Titles By Jack Handey The Stench of Honolulu: A Tropical Adventure What Id Say to the Martians: And Other Veiled Threats Deeper Thoughts, All New Deep. If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, letem go. You should die first get it out of the way. DEEP THOUGHTS by Jack Handey If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something. What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns. What do you get at the end of it? A death. Jack Handey V/O: When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police. ![]() 3)If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you’ll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.Ģ)You know what’s probably a good thing to hang on your porch in the summertime, to keep mosquitoes away from you and your guests? Just a big bag of blood.ġ)The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. ![]()
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